|I was down 10lbs and feeling amazing!|
|This was when I tried it on again in May- it now completely falls off. I am down about 15 more pounds since this picture.|
After my birthday party, full of sweets and drinks, I stepped on the scale the next morning and was up 9lbs. My heart just sunk. Then I realized there is no way that a person can gain 9lbs overnight. Without this realization I would've quit. I almost did. Then I realized it would be stupid to quit. Just try again. Within 2 days I lost this bloat, and was well on my way again.
I started IIFYM- if it fits your macros in February of 2014. I was a little apprehensive at the beginning because I didn't really know what I was doing, but I got the hang of it and it was a whole new outlook on weight loss. My nails weren't brittle anymore (from carb cycling) and I got this new surge of energy because I was eating a lot more food. This was the beginning of starting to realize that weight loss can be a part of my lifestyle. I started losing weight faster than my mind could keep up. I remember feeling that I wasn't sure if I was ready for my weight to fall off that fast. This seems crazy to you, but it's a strange feeling when the body you are used to is changing so fast. I needed time to realize this is actually happening. I eventually got over that.
|High school vs I think March of 2014|
I am down 57lbs this year, and down 67lbs since my high school grad. I do feel like I am at a weight that I am not embarassed of anymore, but I'm still not ready to share.
In April I ran my fastest mile of 11:55 minutes. That was so emotional.
But then last month I killed that time, and did it in 10:09 minutes.
This past March I ran, walked, limped, crawled 10 miles. I wanted to die, but I did it. I cried. I did those 10 miles in something like 3 hours and 15 minutes I think. I ran another 10 miles this September/October.
Cleaning out my closet full of fat clothes was another emotional step in this journey. It was so strange putting on old clothes, and having them fall to the ground. Clothes that I never really did feel good in felt like I was throwing away this really sad part of me. It really felt good. Then there were clothes that I DID feel really good in in the past. Most of those made me giggle because I look sooo much better now.
This was the first picture I showed any skin on Instagram. I saw other women doing it, and I just couldn't imagine myself ever doing it. I held my breath and hit the okay button. People have been nothing but supportive, and it's just incredible that I can share my deepest scariest thoughts and feelings, and have people say "wow you are inspiring", "that's awesome", "congratulations!" etc etc. In my head that's not what I was expecting. I felt comfortable sharing the before at this point because I'm nowhere near that anymore.
This was the first time I had shown a front view of my skin.
The first time I put on something at Le Chateau that fit me. This wasn't even the XL...
The first time I fit into a size 8...
The first time I fit into an American Eagle size 12. I couldn't even shop there before let alone fit a size smaller than the biggest size...
I took this picture about two weeks ago. This was the first time I realized how much of my old body is actually gone.
Where am I going from here? I am going to keep pushing forward. Some people already know this, but my ultimate goal is a bikini competition. I would've laughed at that thought before, but after this year I know this very much could be my reality in a couple years.
I hope this post of my journey within this year inspires someone. It has been an emotional roller coaster of happy, sad, and scary moments filled with many firsts and lasts.
My old blazer doesn't fit anymore, neither does my newest one. I need to go get another one now. My little black blazer still makes me feel like it did before- confident. Now it is actually quite little.